


no judgement

by poppyharris



Category: Columbine - Fandom
Genre: read this if u hate me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:53:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27180697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poppyharris/pseuds/poppyharris
Summary: an explanation of why i write columbine fanfiction.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	no judgement

so.

i'm poppyharris. or you'll know me from discord as vodka#0073.

if you hadn't noticed, i'm drastically stepping up the amount i write, and because of the way i plan my fics out, i have a list of fandoms i write for.

one of these fandoms is columbine. i prefer the term topic, but whatever floats your boat. 

i've had comments either turned off or moderated on all of my columbine fics since i began writing for the fandom because i know the stigma about writing for it. i've had to justify myself to friends, significant others and myself as to why i write what i write.

and now i'm justifying myself to you, dear reader, whoever you may be. if you're already someone that reads and enjoys what i write for columbine, do continue, this isn't about hating on anyone for reading columbine fanfiction. we're in a mutually destructive relationship.

it's more about the people that look at what i do with disgust, or even hatred. and i can understand why they would do so. which i suppose is why i'm writing this. it's not an apology, it's not even a promise i'll stop. it's the opposite.

i write columbine fanficition, because i know i'm not dangerous. i know that what i write isn't going to cause this to happen again. i don't condone violence in schools, but violence in school isn't something i know. i can go to college and know i'll be safe. i have the luxury of being educated in britain. no, you're right, i don't know what it's like, and i never will. but i won't stop writing. 

jokes are told, movies made, songs written, a stage show produced. columbine is part of america's culture. romance is incorporated into war films, where far more died. for such a time is a book about when a jew fell in love with her ss guard. and it was nominated for various book awards. is columbine too raw? or is it too close to home for americans?

i don't know, but i know that writing is something i enjoy and who are you to decide on what is proper to write? there are worse fics out there, there's one where adolf hitler and amy wong have nazi babies and join the kkk. one was deleted last week where [charlie bucket](https://www.google.com/search?q=charlie+bucket+age) was forcibly mpreged by [willy wonka.](https://wonka.fandom.com/wiki/Willy_Wonka)

dylan klebold and eric harris, to me, are characters. columbine, to me, is something i'm not afraid of. i'm not afraid to write about it. you can continue to criticise me, but it won't stop me. you don't have to read this, and if it causes you distress, then i'm very sorry. your loss is valid, your experiences are awful. but in the same way kate breslin hasn't stopped writing books about jews falling in love with nazis, i won't stop writing books between two men who are dead, and a completely fictional character.

it's assumed my username comes from my desire to be mrs eric harris, unfortunately that's not the case. it's from kevin harris, and how i find him fucking amazing. i don't claim i would've befriended the shooters, or been there for them. they were greasy nerds. one was openly a greasy nazi. you wouldn't have given them a second thought either. 

i write columbine fanfiction because i want to.

i don’t ask for criticism, because i don’t want it. i write for myself. not for you. not because i want to impress you, but because it’s a motion i need to keep going.

to quote the hunger games:

_it's like a game. repetitive. even a little tedious after more than twenty years. but there are much worse games to play._

there are much worse people out there than me. 

**Author's Note:**

> song: no judgement by niall horan
> 
> ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ socials ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙  
> reddit: zvezdna  
> discord: VoDKa#1999  
> ko-fi: ko-fi.com/bemorekind  
> tumblr: poppystardew


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